Bullet Journal: When time passes you by
Have you ever opened your journal to find you’ve skipped a whole week of your life? I did that today. I was expecting to open my journal to the next clean page, so I could set up this week’s spread and discovered that last week’s spread was still completely empty. Not only was is empty, but I hadn’t even finished setting it up!
If you have a chronic illness, you can probably relate. Flares can be so draining that you don’t even manage the simplistic of tasks like picking up your book to read, or opening your journal to see what’s on your to-do list. Partly because the book is just too heavy and partly because having things not ticked is hard to accept sometimes. We don’t like all those lists of undone tasks.
So whole weeks can pass you by while you rest and wait for your body to do whatever incredible tasks it is doing to recover and heal from that one thing you shouldn’t have eaten or that one thing you shouldn’t have done last week.
In my case one week had passed, to the day. Instead of trying to fill in last week’s spread, an impossible task as memory loss is a super dominant symptom of mine at the moment (clearly), I’m going to just use last week’s spread for this week. I had filled in last Wednesday with some things that needed doing, but I hadn’t even done them all, so I’ll just continue from there as if that list was for today. Problem solved.
I honestly feel a little proud of myself, because things like this would really upset me prior to falling ill with ME/CFS. Every time I messed up on my schedule, didn’t do something on my list or ate the wrong thing while on a specific type of diet, I’d just get so upset with myself and end up quitting or redoing everything from scratch as if it was the plan that was flawed.
In reality, as I’ve since learned, I am the one that is flawed – we all are – and we will make mistakes and fall off the wagon from time to time, and that’s okay. The key to success is getting up and carrying on every time you do. So this is me getting up and moving forward despite having skipped an entire week in my journal.
I was always trying to play catch-up with my own life, trying to rectify mistakes before moving on. Now, when I drop the ball, I let go of what I’ve dropped and move forward from there. It’s a much less stressful way to live.