I grew up believing every word of the Bible. I still do, but my understanding has changed dramatically. It was all head knowledge, but I didn’t know the character of God.
I didn’t understand His ways or His plans for us as his creation. I certainly didn’t understand how salvation didn’t require jumping through hoops and sacrifices if that’s what God required in the old testament. It didn’t make sense to me.
I spent my life filled with guilt and fear. Fear that I wouldn’t make it to heaven, that I’d end up in that pit of flames. I tried so hard to be good, and by human standards I was quite a good child, I think, but I knew it wasn’t good enough according to God’s standards and that was my problem.