I was lying in the bath relaxing last night when I felt the shakes coming on… This is what I get for walking to the bathroom and getting undressed. I started feeling a bit of the internal tremors at this point, I imagined it might come to the shakes, and then as I lay in the tub to rest, before washing, they suddenly started up. (see the video clip below)
This is just the start, it then takes over my whole body and that’s when holding my phone, or anything else for that matter, becomes very hard.
It’s hard to deal with these unexpected flares or relapses that seem to come out of the blue.
You end up asking yourself a million questions. What did I do wrong? Did I eat the wrong thing? What did I do yesterday or the day before to cause this much pain? Why am I so weak today, did I overdo it this week? Was the TV too loud? Did I miss the signs and push too hard? Did I get over excited about something?
It can be a bit worrying when you are sure you’ve done everything right, but your body fails you anyway. The key is to not get distressed, because that just makes things worse. Stress absolutely is your enemy. Continue reading
I often see people with ME/CFS writing about how they have spent hours in the emergency room only to be completely disappointed, misunderstood or even disbelieved. They go to the emergency room because they are feeling so weak and exhausted that they don’t know where else to go or what to do, they’re scared because they feel so utterly ill. I understand the fear that leads you to that conclusion, it’s scary to lose control of your body, but it’s often an unnecessary risk to your own health. Let me explain why I think so…Continue reading
I am regularly contacted by people who have recently been diagnosed with Post Viral Fatigue or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. They are often scared, worried and confused, but also hopeful and determined to return to their normal life. Their question is usually the same: what can I do?
Having a diagnosis of PVF or CFS is difficult to deal with because there is so little information out there and often doctors don’t know what to tell you. They haven’t been trained in the management of CFS and are often ill-equipped to give advice to newly diagnosed patients.
In this post, I will outline some of the main points you need to be aware of as a newly diagnosed patient. Things your GP might not tell you. I am not a doctor, but I am a patient, and I have spoken to many other patients with decades of experience in living with this condition.
Doctors call these long-term sufferers “expert patients” and the advice they gave was vital in my initial stages of PVF/CFS. I will summarise that wisdom below in the hopes that it will help many more.Continue reading
The following post was originally written in 2015, just a month after diagnosis, but I thought I’d share it for some insight into what day to day life is like with ME/CFS. I was still getting new symptoms constantly and they were all so new and bizarre to me.
This week I’d say my main issue has been pain. I’d wake up in pain, in the night, in the morning, I’ll have aches all day, toothache, headaches, migraines, stabbing pain, hip pains, light sensitivity pain… All sorts.
I’d still have a bunch of other symptoms, but I’d say it’s been a relatively good week.
I can function in the house with pain. I read, draw, cook, eat, maybe wash some dishes after, and I can rest whenever I need to. I sit down most of the time anyway, praise God my whole studio flat is probably the size of your average bedroom so there’s not much walking to be done!
My left arm is bleh most of the time, feels numb or dead and painful all at the same time, so sometimes I can’t even draw without the shakes coming on. The pain is mostly bearable, but sometimes it gets to the point where I need to drop everything and lie down. And admittedly sometimes I cry… Especially if it’s the stabbing pains in my hips, they’re just horrible! Continue reading
Three years ago today I took this photo of the sunrise and added the devotional message for the day. Today I’m sharing it as I remember the beautiful image painted in the devotional of how God lifts us up by His strength. On wings like eagles…
Today marks 18 months of this CFS. At least 18 months in this severe housebound state, we imagine I had it milder for at least 6 months before this.
I never wonder why this has happened to me or what the cause is, I only know that God can take it away in an instant if it’s His will to do so (I’ve seen this done, so I know that I know that I know that He can), and I also know that not everybody is healed. And that’s OK too. My faith is completely in the will and timing of the Lord.Continue reading
Had to go out today, needed to send off some paperwork, but my printer ran out of ink again – just changed it about two weeks ago! I needed to print off a load of sheets, so I had to take a bus to get that done at one place, then off on another bus to find a post office to send it.
By the time I got to post office my legs were not working properly anymore, it was like I was wading through lead or mercury, let’s just say Nutella (have to keep things positive!). I had shooting pains all over the place, so was reduced to waddling at snails pace (seriously) at one point I thought I wouldn’t make it across the road, but the bus driver was patient and waited for me to get safely out of his/her way.
Been lying in bed for hours now, but my body is done. I feel like I’ve done an hour of intense cardio. You know how you feel when the pain from your first workout in months sets in the day after and then you have to work out again on that very stiff and sore second day? That’s how I feel. Nothing like aching jelly legs to remind you why you never leave the house alone anymore! I did buy some chocolate en route, so it wasn’t all bad.Continue reading